Irrational Fears
by whats-wrong-eren
Summary: Out of pure curiosity, Hanji and Armin decide that they want to discover what every new recruit in the Survey Corps has a phobia of. Rather than ask them outright, they simply observe, and discover that everyone has an odd or irrational fear of something. (Prompt from snkkink on ao3) CONTAINS YAOI! NO LIKEY NO READY! Those aren't words but I don't care.
1. Eren

**A/N: I suggest you don't read this if you are scared of spiders. Although, I wrote it and I'm terrified of spiders.**

It all began with a spider. Just a tiny insignificant arachnid caused the almost complete loss of sanity in the Scouting Regiment 104th squad recruits. Some blame Eren (mainly Jean). Some blame Armin. Mostly everyone blames Hanji. Not to mention Levi and Erwin were also dragged in.

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><p>Hanji was bored. That was <em>never<em> a good thing. When Hanji was bored she would conduct an experiment. Mainly she only experimented on Eren, but she can only come up with so many experiments for him.

As it was, she was in the mess hall when it happened. It was nearing the end of dinner, so most people were either just finishing up their food or talking to friends before they went off to their quarters to prepare to bed. Her eyes lingered on the Titan Shifter at the next table over, as they always did, when he suddenly stopped talking and stared at a place on the table. His head leaned forward ever so slightly when suddenly he leapt back and shrieked, causing everyone's heads to swivel over to look at him. He stood ten feet away from the table, pressed against the wall with his eyes wide as saucers. Hanji raised her eyebrows and looked back to the table he was previously sitting at to see Mikasa grumbling and reaching across the table with a cloth.

"Eren," She called in slight annoyance. "It's dead. You can come back now."

"Are you sure?" He asked quietly, his voice shaking. The entire hall was still staring on with interest. Mikasa nodded and flicked at the table. Eren slowly made his way back to the table and sat down.

"A spider? You screamed like a little girl over a _spider?!_" Jean asked. After receiving an embarrassed glare from Eren, he burst into hysterical laughter.

"Shut up, horseface!" Eren yelled, burning holes in Jean's head with his eyes. Jean just continued to laugh as he banged his fist on a table.

"Eren's been irrationally afraid of spiders since we were kids." Armin mused, a small smile on his face. Hanji liked Armin. He was the smartest of the new recruits (if not most of the Scouting Regiment) and he assisted her with her experiments.

A grin curled her lips as she continued to watch Eren defend himself. Oh, this was going to be so much fun.

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><p>Hanji made a plan for her experiment. She wanted this to be as fun as possible, so just asking the people their irrational fears would be stupid. First on her list was Armin. Armin would probably be easy to figure out and he could help her once she knew. But, before she started with Armin, she wanted to do something with Eren.<p>

About ten minutes before the wake up call the day after the spider incident, Hanji crept her way down the halls to the basement. She had a small glass jar in her hand with a large hairy spider inside. She had made sure that it was not poisonous just in case. Hanji giggled to herself as she slid down the railing to the basement. The guard on duty jolted awake and saluted. He opened his mouth to greet her, but she slapped her hand over his mouth.

"Be quiet and leave, I have an experiment to do." Hanji hissed. The guard nodded hurriedly and swept out of the room as quickly as possible. Hanji grinned widely as she entered the cell. Eren was sleeping peacefully, drool running down his cheek and his hair a mess. She stifled a laugh as she popped the lid off the jar and pushed the arachnid onto Eren's pillow. It scurried forward a few inches before stopping right in front of his closed eye. After Hanji assured herself the spider wouldn't move any further unless provoked, she slipped out of the cell to hide in a shadowy corner with her clipboard.

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><p>Eren knew when he had to wake up even in dead sleep by now. After three years of the same time, he would be up at the precise second. His eyes slowly slid open as he yawned groggily. Then, he saw it. A big, hairy, disgusting spider not two inches from his face. His yawn turned into a shriek as he sprung out of bed and bolted to the door (which was unlocked because Hanji forgot to relock it). In only his boxers and a shirt, he sprinted up the stairs.<p>

"Mikasa!" He screamed as he ran to her room as fast as his legs could carry him. He threw open the door to the room she shared with Christa and jumped onto Mikasa's bed. She jolted upright in surprise and was dumbstruck upon seeing Eren's tear-streaked face.

"Wh-What is it, Eren?" She asked groggily still only half awake. His eyes were wide and terrified like he had just seen a ghost.

"Th-There was a huge sp-sp-spider on m-my pillow!" He sobbed, his voice cracking as he clung to Mikasa like she was a lifeline.

"A-Ah!" Christa squeaked from across the room. "Eren? What are you doing here!?"

"Spider." Mikasa answered for him as she rubbed her brother's back soothingly. At this point, Eren was shaking and sobbing uncontrollably and on the verge of a full blown panic attack. This was the point where Hanji decided to burst in.

"Eren! I'm sorry! It was for science!" Hanji exclaimed loudly as the door slammed against the wall. Eren barely even heard her. "Eren!? Are you okay?! D-"

"Hanji!" A voice barked from behind her. It was Levi. "What the hell is going on!? Why was the brat running through the halls screaming at the top of his damn lungs?!"

"Eheheh, you see Levi, I was conducting an experiment and-" Levi held up a hand to silence her.

"Did you put a spider on him or near him?" He asked, sighing in annoyance. Hanji just grinned apologetically and shrugged. "Eren, you get the day off. Hanji, next time, you're cleaning the stables by yourself. Got it, shitty glasses?"

"Yes, Levi." Hanji pouted before sulking away. Eren was still clinging to Mikasa as sobs wracked his body. Humanity's Hope was scared of a spider.


	2. Armin

**A/N: I'm sorry, I was kinda mean to Armin in this! I love him though!**

Since that was over with, Hanji's next objective was Armin. As soon as she got him done, she would have a little helper. She sat at her desk, mulling over possible phobias for the little blond when Mikasa walked in. She wore the same expression as always, but Hanji seemed to get the impression the girl was still mad at her for what she did to Eren.

"Armin needs some stitches, there was a sword accident." Mikasa stated calmly. "He is out in the front by the stables. Levi says to hurry."

With that the black haired girl stalked out of the room, most likely back to wherever Armin was. Hanji sighed and pulled herself to her feet with a groan. She didn't like stitching things, she preferred to do the cutting. As she made her way out front with her medical kit she continued to think of possibilities for Armin's fear.

Finally, she made it to where Armin was in a puddle of blood while tears pooled in his eyes. He was whimpering in pain while Eren tied a piece of cloth around Armin's leg. When Eren noticed the scientist coming their way, he immediately jumped up and hid behind Mikasa as if scared Hanji had another spider. Levi was standing off to the side with a scowl on his face. Hanji, after spending years with the grumpy captain, saw a spark of concern in his eyes. She smiled to herself as she lowered herself down to her knees in front of Armin.

"What happened, Armin?" She questioned as she rummaged through her medical kit. Hanji made out that he had tripped over something while moving a few swords and landed on them through his sobs. Hanji beamed as she finished cleaning the wound. "Well, it's not too deep! It'll still need stitches though~"

"St-Stitches?" He whispered in horror. Hanji nodded, not noticing Eren and Mikasa tense behind Armin. "W-With a needle?"

"What else?" Hanji asked as she pulled out a needle and thread and gave it a little wave for emphasis. Armin's breathing quickened as he struggled to crawl away.

"No, no, no, no, no!" He wailed, clinging to Eren's leg as he stared at the needle, terror gleaming in his eyes. _Perfect, _Hanji thought with an internal sadistic smile. _Gotcha._ "Er-Eren! Don't let her near me with that thing! I do-"

His words were cut off abruptly as Mikasa flipped him onto his back and pinned him to the ground by sitting on his chest and holding his legs down. She looked over at Hanji guiltily.

"Please hurry. I hate doing this." She admitted, a frown pulling at her lips. She looked away to her brother. "Eren, take my place, I'll hold his legs."

"Right." Eren nodded with determination. Hanji watched as the two switched places with perfect timing, as if they had done this a million times. Armin was thrashing about and screaming while tears rolled down his cheeks. Eren was trying to talk to Armin and reassure him, but nothing could calm the desperate blond.

"No! Please! Eren! Mikasa!? Please?!" He howled, continuing to struggle. Hanji actually felt kind of bad when she punctured his skin. He screamed in pain and mostly fear. Hanji knew he had suffered worse before, but the fear made it so he thought it hurt much more than it really did. "Stop! Please!?"

"I'm sorry, Armin. But we have to do this. I'm almost done, don't worry." Hanji told him gently. After a few more moments she sat back on her heels as Eren and Mikasa released Armin. He scurried backwards, right into Levi's legs. He looked up and yelped in terror before crawling back to Eren. "Armin, I have to bandage it now."

"No!" He snapped. He cleared his throat sheepishly. "I mean, I can do that myself. Thank you Hanji."

"It'd be better if I did it. I have something to discuss with you anyhow." Hanji responded, her voice turning serious. Armin gulped and nodded, his eyes darting to the bag next to her. Her smile returned as she said, "Don't worry! No more needles!"

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><p>"So, you want to find out everybody's irrational fear without just asking upfront?" Armin clarified. Hanji nodded enthusiastically, her hair bouncing wildly. Armin smiled slightly. "Well alright then. As long as you don't try to scare <em>me <em>again."

"Of course, of course!" Hanji exclaimed, throwing her arms out to the side. She jumped to her feet and scurried around the office, grabbing random papers from different places. "From here on I'll go in order from easiest to hardest to scare. Since Eren was an accident and I needed you to help me, the next will be Christa! I find the hardest will be Mikasa or Ymir- WAIT!" She turned to look at Armin with a manic gleam in her eyes. "The hardest will be Levi!"

"Levi!? he'll kill us both if we try to freak him out!" Armin exclaimed, eyes wide.

"If we achieve in scaring him he will!" Hanji giggled. Armin started to retort with a logical response, but Hanji simply scurried back to her pile of papers, pulling out another two. "We'll do Levi and Erwin. Levi we'll save for last because he seems like he'll be really hard to scare. Oh, this'll be so much fun~!" She dropped a paper onto the small blond's lap and beamed. "Study this and try and figure out possibilities. Report back here first thing after breakfast!"


	3. Christa

**A/N: Gah, it's really short, I'm sorry. **

**I am really amazed at how much positive feedback I've gotten for this story already! It's only been up for a day or something and I already have a bunch of faves/follows/and reviews! This is awesome! Thank you guys so much!I was seriously almost crying when I read how nice you guys are! I love you! **

"She seems to avoid bugs at any cost. Other than that she had Ymir on bodyguard duty all the time." Armin shrugged as he skimmed through the paper again. He looked up to see Hanji with her chin in her hand as she thought.

"Follow her as much as you can. I will too." Hanji commanded, looking back up to Armin. Armin raised his eyebrows for a moment before deciding arguing with her was pointless and nodding.

"Ymir will commit homicide if she finds out about this." Armin commented with an over dramatic sigh. Hanji didn't catch on and instead continued to rearrange piled of paper stacked about her office. Armin huffed in annoyance and slight amusement. "Nevermind then."

With that, he stood and exited the messy office and headed to the training grounds.

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><p>Christa watched on from her resting place as Jean and Eren once again argued loudly causing Levi to interfere with threats and insults. Ymir was doing drills so Christa was alone for once. She looked around thoughtfully. Armin was sitting off to the side with Mikasa, who had finished training. Armin had been excused due to the sword accident the day before. Christa sighed and glanced at the ground where she saw a beautiful pink flower budding right next to her foot. She grinned and leaned forward to sniff it when a fuzzy insect came darting out. Paralyzed with fear, she simply watched as the bug buzzed over to her and landed on her nose. Realizing what was happening, she whipped her head back and forth frantically, attempting to fling the bug off. Then, she felt it. A sharp stab as the demon bug stung her nose. She batted the insect off her nose, tears forming in her eyes as she sprung to her feet and screamed while closing her eyes tightly.<p>

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><p><em>There it is.<em> Armin thought triumphantly. He had been watching the smaller blonde from his place by Mikasa throughout the entire escapade. Even though that had been what he had wanted, he still felt bad for her. He quickly limped over to her and grasped her shoulders as she screamed. He knew if Ymir got the wrong idea he would be dead, but he wanted to help Christa.

"Christa! Christa! Calm down! What happened?!" Armin called over her wailing, feining innocence.

"B-Bee st-st-stung me-e!" She cried, hugging Armin so tightly he could hardly breathe. "Br-Bring me back to-to Hanji pl-please?"

"Yes, of course." Armin nodded. He looked over to Levi for confirmation. He merely nodded to them before turning back to yell at Ymir for trying to follow.

When Armin and Christa finally got back to HQ, Christa had stopped crying and was instead sniffling as they made their way down the hallway to Hanji's office. Armin knocked once before pushing open the door to find Hanji at her desk furiously scribbling on a paper. She looked up as the two teens entered the room and smiled widely.

"Hi!" She chirped as she bounded over to them. She studied their faces eagerly before noticing the red mark on Christa's nose. "Oh, Christa, did you get stung?"

"Y-Yes. I hate bees." She sniffled, gently touching her nose. Hanji pouted as she led Christa to a chair by her medical kit. While she went, she shot a wink over her shoulder to Armin.

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><p>"Next is Connie." Hanji announced to her audience of one. Armin nodded and scanned over the paper he had been given. "I suggest making a bet with Sasha to see who could scare him first, that'll probably work."<p>

"Yeah. I'll keep an eye on him for the rest of the day. Tomorrow I'll make the bet." Armin agreed. Sasha would never turn down a bet, especially if it had to do with Connie's well-being.


	4. Connie

**A/N: I LOVE YOU GUYS OH MY GOD!**

**Responses (if I don't respond to yours, don't worry I still love you.): **

**Centris: Oh my god that's weird. I'm sorry if I'm freaking you out!**

**Nodolfin: Just imagine Eren doing that with his titan scream, jfc.**

**KingWykkyd57: Don't we all? (I promise it'll be funny!)**

**Not so human anymore: Just for that review of Eren, I give you a virtual cookie. (::) - it's a cookie.**

**Longing for Winter: Thank you! ^.^**

**AspergianStoryteller: Me too. I felt really bad doing that to him.**

**MemoryRise: You are absolutely correct those dorks are the OTP. (commence more subtle hints in this chapter although less subtle!)**

**Warning: Levi likes to swear and Eren has caught on.**

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><p>"Jaeger." Levi called gruffly from down the hall. Eren pivoted quickly and saluted the captain.<p>

"Yes, sir?" He asked, hand still clasped over his heart. He looked at Levi with eager eyes as he awaited whatever task he gave him.

"You have to clean the chandelier." Levi responded in a bored tone. Eren tensed causing Levi to quirk his eyebrow. "What?"

"B-But…" The bright eyed teen trailed off, averting his gaze to the floor. "There might be spiders up there…"

"I don't fucking care if there's a titan up there, you have to clean the damn chandelier!" Levi snarled, glaring at Eren. Eren yelped and nodded. "Now!" Eren nodded again and ran out of the hall like the devil was on his heels.

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><p>Armin crept through the halls, following behind the oblivious bald boy. He had made the bet with Sasha, so now was a time to observe. It had been hours since Sasha had run off to scare Connie, and it had been at least ten failed attempts. So far, nothing from spiders to darkness scared Connie. It was starting to get tedious. Armin sighed quietly as he continued his crouched sprint from shadow to shadow.<p>

"Wah!" Sasha yelled at Connie as she waved a torch in his face. He jumped back in surprise and glared at her when he realized it was another trick.

"Listen, Sasha, I don't know if your trying to prank me or kill me, but either way it's getting really annoying." Connie scowled, crossing his arms. Sasha pouted and put out the fire. Armin's eyes widened. That was the most serious Connie had ever been from what he had seen. Armin heard Connie sigh and focused again. "Sasha, don't pout like that, I would just rather keep my body unharmed until, you know, it's inevitable."

"Fine." Sasha moped and walked away, dragging her feet. Connie shook his head in frustration before continuing on his way, Armin close on his heels.

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><p>"Stupid chandelier. Stupid cleaning. Stupid dust. Stupid high ceilings." Eren muttered as he scrubbed away at the chandelier. Levi had told him it had never been cleaned, and it seemed pretty obvious from up on the ceiling, hanging from 3DMG. He still had his blades on, in case of an emergency, and he was seriously considering slicing through all the cobwebs. But he couldn't. Levi had specifically told him not to use the blades unless 'a big ass titan randomly appeared'. Eren sighed again and continued to scrub at a particularly tough spot. He prayed to Sina there were no spiders up there. He looked around quickly. Levi was sitting by the wall reading a book and checking to make sure Eren was working periodically.<p>

"Jaeger, no slacking." Levi barked without looking up. Eren snapped back to work.

_He didn't even look!_

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><p>Connie was making his way out to the stables to muck a few stalls when he suddenly stopped and shivered. He had entered the main entrance hall (with Armin continuing to tail him) and was staring at the chandelier that Eren was cleaning. Armin mentally noted his hesitation before he started forward again, although somewhat reluctantly.<p>

Eren growled under his breath in annoyance as he reached to the very back of the chandelier. That's when he saw it. Not an inch from his hand was spider, just sitting there, staring at him menacingly. He slowly retracted his hand and grabbed the handle of a sword. He would take care of this demon if it killed him. With more speed than Levi, he whipped out his blade and sliced at the spider (which was actually a daddy-long-legs) while giving a battle cry. Breathing heavily, he realized he had not only completely missed the spider, he also cut the supports for the chandelier.

"Oh _fuck._" Eren muttered. A split second later the chandelier had hit the ground and exploded into shards of glass and pieces of metal. He heard a loud shriek and saw Connie bolting out the door.

"I knew that chandelier was out to get me!" Connie sobbed as he sprinted away. Armin smiled sadly. _Connie, check._

"JAEGER!? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE YOUR DAMN BLADES!" Levi roared. He was furious. Eren gulped and waved his hand weakly.

"Th-there was a spider." He responded sheepishly.

"GET DOWN AND CLEAN THIS SHIT UP, NOW! OR ELSE I'LL HAVE YOU CLEANING THE WHOLE CASTLE WITH YOUR TOOTHBRUSH!" Levi snarled, hurling his book at Eren's head. Eren, who was still hanging from his 3DMG when the book hit his head, flipped over backwards and hung like in boot camp. He struggled to right himself, and when he failed to do so, Levi whipped a dagger at the wires, severing both of them. Eren seemed to fall in slow motion and his only thought was, _Of course._ He sighed and didn't even bother to try and get upright, either way he would break something. Before he collided with the ground though, he felt a pair of strong arms catch him and then throw him to the ground.

"You're lucky I didn't let you fall, brat." Levi commented with a sigh. Eren struggled to his feet and saluted, but Levi had already walked away to retrieve his book. He stopped a few steps forward and turned to look at Eren, raising an eyebrow. "No thank you?"

"Oh, uh, th-thank you Captain Levi, sir!" Eren stammered, blushing out of embarrassment.

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><p>"Hanji, Connie is scared of chandeliers." Armin reported as he walked in the office. Hanji looked up from her paperwork with a grin. "Eren almost crushed him with one earlier today."<p>

"Great!" Hanji exclaimed, bouncing out of her chair. Armin gave her a surprised look. "I mean, not great that Connie was almost crushed, great you found out!"

"Oh, okay." Armin muttered. He really had no idea what Hanji meant half the time. "Who's next?"

"Guess!" Hanji beamed, leaning towards him with a grin.

"Uh…" He pondered. "Sasha?"

"Yep!

"Well, that's easy. She's scared of food getting dirty."

"No, no, no she has to have another one that's completely irrational!" Hanji exclaimed, waving her arms about. "You know the drill!" She threw him a piece of paper and shooed him out of the office. "Come back if you need any help~!"

Armin sighed. Why was he doing this again?


	5. Sasha

**I LOVE YOU PEOPLE SO MUCH OH MY GOD! Please keep guessing what their fears are, it's so funny and witty! **

**Responses (I still love you even if I don't respond to you!):**

**Nodolfin: SASHA SAVE ME FROM THE DEMON CHANDELIER!**

**Memory Rise: Oh no, you got yelled at! Sorry! But, oh my god this review made me smile like a dork.**

**TitanLee: Don't let Levi know you said that! And thanks, I'm trying to make it happy because the show enjoys ripping my heart out and soaking it in lemon juice.**

**Guest: It's is so ironic that my mom even questioned it.**

**Guest: THAT WOULD EXPLAIN EVERYTHING HOLY SHIT!**

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><p>"Connie's scared of chandeliers, Connie's scared of chandeliers!" Sasha chanted, laughing. Connie mumbled about how the chandelier was evil under his breath and continued to walk down the long hallway to the dining hall. When Sasha's chanting failed to cease, he stopped walking and glared at the ground, growling.<p>

"Yeah!? Well, I bet you're scared of something really stupid too, _Potato Girl_!" Connie shouted in frustration. Sasha spun on her heel and gawked at the shorter boy.

"Potato Girl!? You said you would never say that again!" Sasha screamed in outrage, waving her arms about frantically. Before the argument could escalate any further, they ran into Levi and Eren. Levi was glaring at them, causing them to fidget uncomfortably.

"I could hear you all the way outside." He snarled at them.

"S-Sorry, Captain!" They both saluted clumsily. Levi just scoffed and pushed them aside, Eren following closely behind with a guilty look on his face. Sasha and Connie then continued their argument, albeit much quieter.

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><p>"You know, Connie, you should get back at Sasha for making fun of you like that. Maybe freak her out too?" Armin suggested nonchalantly over dinner. Sasha was getting seconds, so she couldn't hear their conversation. Connie looked up from his food with a startled expression.<p>

"How'd I do that?" He asked, bread crumbs spewing out of his mouth. Armin grinned.

"Well, you'll have to figure out whatever her ridiculous fear is and use it against her." Armin explained brightly. Connie swallowed his food and nodded determinedly.

"Yeah! I'll freak her out too! I'm pretty sure she's scared of ghosts or something dumb like that!"

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><p>"Bread, bread, bread~!" Sasha sang under her breath as she skipped down the hallway. It was around midnight and she was returning from her nightly archery practice. Just because she was in the Scouts didn't mean she was gonna let her hunting skills go. As she continued down the hallways to her room she shared with Ymir, she thought she heard a dull groan.<p>

She whipped her head around and glared at the wall where the noise had come from. Nothing was there. She took a deep breath and turned back around, making haste to her room. _Itsnotaghost, itsnotaghost, itsnotaghost, itsnotaghost, itsnotaghost!_ She chanted to herself, trying to calm down.

Another groan. She started running. Another. Sprinting now. Another one, louder this time. She flattened herself on a wall and looked around, terrified. Tears were slipping down her cheeks by then. Finally, there was a dark chuckle coming from her right. Without even thinking about it, she nocked and fired an arrow in less than a second. It cut through the air faster than the eye could see and thumped into the wall at the end of the hallway. There stood Connie, staring at the arrow stuck next to his head in horror.

"S-S-SASHA?! WHAT THE HELL!?" Connie screamed, glaring at the archer angrily. "JUST BECAUSE I MADE A FEW GHOST NOISES YOU TRY TO KILL ME!?"

"THEN DON'T MAKE GHOST NOISES OR ELSE THE NEXT ONE WON'T MISS!" Sasha snapped back.

Hiding in the shadows, Armin watched on in mild concern. He knew this experiment was going to end up killing someone.

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><p>"Hanji, are you sure this experiment is a good idea?" Armin asked as he shuffled through the next set of papers he had been given. When he had told the crazy scientist Connie had almost been killed because of Sasha's ghost fear, she just burst into laughter and couldn't stop for ten minutes.<p>

"Of _course_ it is!" Hanji exclaimed, throwing her hands up. "This is very important for science!"

Armin sighed. It was no use arguing with her. She ignored logic and clearly she didn't care about safety. Or sanity. "Then Jean is next?"

"Yep!" Hanji beamed. "I figure he's the next easiest. You could get Eren in on this one, he'll be happy to see Jean screaming like a little girl. Or like Eren did when he saw the spider." Hanji giggled at her simile. "Well, you kno-"

"Yes, I know the drill. I'll tell you if I need help." Armin groaned, standing up and stretching.

He was really starting to regret this decision.


	6. Jean

**A/N: I sincerely apologize for this chapter. Warning for way too much Ereri.**

**Memory Rise; THIS IS FOR YOU! (Also me and my OTP)**

**Responses:**

**Silver Tarot: Now I really want that to happen.**

**Memory Rise: Yeah, her skillz are rad as hell yo. **

**Guest: I was thinking about adding Hanji's fear as a bonus chapter but I have no idea what her fear would be, unlike everyone else's who I have down already.**

**EminaRukiax: I am too! And thank you so much!**

**LISTEN TO MY WARNING! THERE IS TOO MUCH ERERI IN THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE I NEED JESUS!**

**Also, longest chapter yet, yay!**

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><p>"Does anyone know where the hell Eren is?" Jean asked, leaning his cheek on his hand. "He owes me ten bucks."<p>

"Dunno, I haven't seen him since he almost killed me." Connie scowled, shoving a spoonful of chowder in his mouth angrily. There was a mutual shrug from everyone around the table. Jean groaned and looked at the other tables. He noticed Levi wasn't around either.

"Ugh, maybe Levi has him doing chores again. I'll go find him." He said with a grimace as he pulled himself to his feet. _Of course I'm left with Eren searching duty._

He aimlessly wandered the halls, listening intently for any voices, but he heard none. Finally, after about ten minutes of searching, he stopped and leaned against a wall, mulling over any places the suicidal bastard could be. Suddenly he heard a faint whimper. Jean's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Was he hearing things? No, there was a groan now. It was coming from the room across the hall.

He crept over to the door and pressed his ear against the the hard wood, straining his ears for any noise. What the hell was making those noises? Slowly and quietly, he pushed the door open and peered into the room.

_What. The. Fuck!?_ Jean internally shrieked. He saw Eren pressed against a wall by Levi who was mercilessly attacking him with his lips. Eren's hands were tangled in Levi's hair as he returned the kiss full force, whimpering or groaning every once in a while. Levi's hands were on Eren's hips, playing with the belts around them. He pulled away, a string of saliva connected the two for a moment before it snapped out of existence. The younger of the two whined in disagreement, but it was quickly cut short as Levi's lips made contact with his neck. He gasped loudly and tightened his grip on the raven hair.

Jean had had enough. He yanked the door shut and sprinted out of there, back to the dining hall. He reclaimed his seat, face pale and shoveled down the rest of the food on his plate. Everyone gave him confused looks.

"What's your problem?" Ymir inquired with a scowl. Jean shook his head and swallowed thickly.

"N-Nothing!" He stammered, his face reddening at the memory of what he had seen. He would _never_ get that image out of his head. "I'm perfectly fine!"

"You don't look fine… You sick or something?" Reiner asked, eyebrow raised. Jean shook his head and continued to eat.

Just then, Eren and Levi entered the room, no signs of what had just happened in sight. The only giveaway to Jean was the faint red marks on Eren's neck that no one else would notice. Jean stiffened and continued eating as quickly as possible.

"There's Eren. Didn't you want money from him like fifteen minutes ago?" Armin asked, watching as Eren made his way over to their table. Eren grinned at Armin and Mikasa brightly and took his usual seat across from Jean.

"Hey guys!" Eren greeted brightly, smiling widely. He turned to his sister. "You got me food, right?" Mikasa nodded and pushed an extra plate in front of him. "Thanks."

"You seem happy!" Christa beamed from down the table. Eren grinned back and nodded. "Any particular reason?"

"Nah, just a good day today I suppose!" He laughed, shooting a glance at Levi's table. Levi seemed a bit more talkative over there as well. Jean choked on his water. Eren turned back to Jean. "You alright, asshole?"

"F-Fine." Jean muttered, clearing his throat. Now everyone was utterly confused. Had Eren just asked _Jean_ if he was okay?! And had Jean just _not_ snapped back at him!?

"Are you two sure you're okay?" Armin asked suspiciously. The last time that had happened was… never. Eren smiled and nodded while Jean just grunted. "Eren, I don't think people ever just wake up this happy… Are you telling us the truth when you say nothing happened? Why'd you walk in with Levi?"

Jean nearly choked again. Armin eyed Jean suspiciously. Before Jean could stop himself, he blurted, "Eren and Levi were making out!"

Eren's spoon clattered back into the bowl, eyes wide and staring at Jean, face red. Everyone at the table had gone silent. Since the new recruits' table was the loudest table, everyone else quieted to see what was happening. The few around them that had heard Jean's outburst quickly whispered it to the people around them and soon enough, the entire dining hall knew. That was the first day most people ever saw Levi's facial expression change.

His eyes widened and he blushed. Lance Corporal Levi, Humanity's Strongest, master of masking his emotions, _blushed._ Hanji sat, ecstatic, beside him, recording Eren's reaction for an experiment most likely and basking in the glory of an embarrassed Levi.

"How did you know that?" Eren whispered, his voice barely audible. But, it was dead silent, so everyone heard it. They all held their breath as Levi dropped his tea.

"Well, I was looking for you because you owe me ten dollars and I heard noises coming from a room, so I looked in and… and there you were." Jean explained sheepishly. He would've loved to embarrass Eren to no end, but he could also embarrass Levi and get work piled onto himself.

Mikasa was shaking in rage beside Eren, who was still frozen in place and staring at Jean. Anger flared in his eyes, but there was no other giveaway. Suddenly, Levi sprung up and bolted out of the room, walking as fast as humanly possible.

"Oh fuck." Eren muttered to himself, looking at the door Levi had left through. All eyes were on him now. He stood and started towards the door, but a few steps forward, he turned and gave Jean a glare that could even scare Levi. "You are gonna fucking get it horse face!"

"Don't you think he already gave enough to Levi?" Connie muttered to Sasha who tried and failed to restrain her giggles. Eren snarled at the bald boy and kicked him in the head, sending him toppling to the ground.

"Shut the fuck up you useless bald fuck!" Eren snapped. Connie groaned and righted himself only the see the door slamming behind Eren.

"I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him." Mikasa chanted under her breath as she attempted to get up. Armin dragged her back down and forced her to stay.

"Mikasa, no!" He pleaded. "You saw how happy Eren was!"

"No, no, that isn't good for him!" Mikasa growled.

"Mikasa!"

"No!"

She ripped Armin off of her and stalked out after the other two.

Jean gulped. He was _so_ getting his ass kicked.

* * *

><p>Training was literally hell. Levi was absolutely brutal on them, most of all on Jean and Eren. Jean had no idea why Levi was being so harsh on Eren, after all weren't they boyfriends or some shit?<p>

"Kirstien, what the fuck was that?" Levi barked from the ground, glaring at the two toned haired teen. Jean gritted his teeth and continued to fling himself around the training grounds. "Jaeger, focus, shitty brat!"

Eren yelped and crashed onto the ground. There was a loud snap and Eren gasped in pain. Levi took a step forward, before remembering Eren would be fine in five minutes. He huffed and crossed his arms, turning back to the rest of the soldiers still training.

"Ackerman, go anywhere near him and I will kick you all the way to Wall Maria." He threatened, clearly not in the mood for her shit. After the goddamn lecture he had gotten the night before (it was literally three hours and Eren's face didn't return to normal color for another two hours) he had enough of her for the rest of his life.

Mikasa scowled and continued to do her drills, although she was staring at Eren the entire time. Eren, who was whimpering in pain on the ground and clutching his shoulder, gave Levi puppy dog eyes until he finally broke and came over to help him.

"Spoiled brat." Levi muttered as he hauled Eren to his feet. Eren smiled proudly.

"You love me though." Eren smirked quietly.

"Shutup, Jaeger." Levi commanded, poking Eren's broken shoulder that was now steaming. Eren yelped and jumped away from his superior. "Go sit over there or some shit. I'll drill you to death later."

"Okay." Eren chirped, clearly unaffected by the last part of his captain's sentence. Levi sighed and turned back to the rest of the new recruits. After noticing Jean was about to fall out of the air, he gave him a break.

"If you fight with Eren, so help me god, I will kill both of you. Got it?" Levi snapped. Jean nodded quickly and saluted before making his way over to the tree where Eren sat. Steam still filled the air as Eren's shoulder healed. Jean plopped down a few feet away from Eren and blew out a stream of air.

"Hey. Hey, Jean?" Eren called, staring at the ground and swiping his hand through the grass. Jean lazily looked over only to see a skinny, wiggling creature soaring towards him and Eren's sneering face in the background. He immediately recognized the reptile and leapt to his feet, screeching.

"S-SNAKE!" He screamed, lashing his arms and hands around frantically as he tried to throw the slithering reptile off of him. "GET IT OFF,GET IT OFF,GET IT OFF!"

Eren was laughing hysterically behind him as Levi stalked over, anger radiating off of him. Jean finally managed to fling the snake off of him and collapsed into a quivering pile of flesh.

"Oh-Oh man! Th-That was the greatest thing!" Eren gasped between fits of giggles. Levi simply kicked him onto his back and turned to Jean.

"Go back to your room, useless brat." Levi snarled.

* * *

><p>"Snakes." Armin announced as he walked in the office. Hanji was by her desk,pouring suspicious looking liquids into different cups.<p>

"Snakes, huh? What happened?" Hanji inquired, only glancing at the blond.

"Eren threw one at him for revenge." Armin shrugged.

"Berthold." Hanji stated. Armin nodded and snatched a paper off her desk.

"Got it."

This was getting out of hand fast.


	7. Bertold

**A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to get up! I had major writer's block and school was being really annoying and my anxiety is acting up again and ugh. I just really didn't have the time or energy to write for the past few days. But I really appreciate all the support I'm getting and I love you guys so much for sticking with this story!**

**Memory Rise, know most of this is your fault. (jk I love you)**

**Responses~!:**

**Tian Lee: I KNOW I LOVE SNAKES! /)^u^(\ But Jean is just a total dork so he's freaked out by them!**

**Memory Rise: yay for reading gay fanfiction in religion class! AND THANK YOU OMG IM BLUSHING!^/u/^**

**Guest: Yeeeeep! I couldn't help myself!**

**rivaiger: ASDFGHJKL THANK YOU**

**Silver-09: That's what I thought when I wrote it. I actually said 'Mikasa Yes' out loud. ****( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

**Amber: Armin will do his best to ensure everyone's safety.**

**YaoiFrenchFries: Yes that was my inspiration when my horse flipped shit when she saw a snake! Hence Jean's fear was born**

**Guest: OMG THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME BECAUSE I ONLY GAWK AND MAKE STUPID NOISES WHEN I READ A REALLY GOOD FANFIC THANK YOU!**

* * *

><p>"Hey, Eren!" Connie called as he pranced up to him. After a few days of sulking, he had finally decided to forgive the Titan Shifter. Said Titan Shifter turned and looked questioningly at the bald boy. Connie grinned mischievously. "So me and Sasha wanted to know…" He paused for dramatic effect.<p>

"What is it, Connie? I have to get to Captain Levi's office. He's probably gonna yell at me again." Eren grumbled angrily. Connie snickered causing Eren to narrow his eyes. "What?"

"Well, we were wondering who's top?" Connie choked out as he held back his laughter. Eren's face went completely red as he gritted his teeth and growled at Connie.

"What the hell Connie!? Why the fuck do you wanna know that!?" Eren demanded, throwing his arms up for emphasis.

"That proves you've done it before!" Connie grinned triumphantly. Eren's face flushed even more. Connie gave a hearty laugh and continued to prod for answers. "So who's top?!"

"None of your damn business!" Eren snapped. By now a few people who had been walking past were spectating the interrogation.

"Come on!" Connie whined. "Tell me!"

"You little-"

"Pleeeeeeaaase~?"

"Levi does, dammit! It's not even possible for someone to top him!" Eren finally admitted. Realizing he had just actually answered the shorter boy, he slapped his hands over his mouth and somehow flushed even deeper. Connie was doubled over with laughter, giving Eren the perfect opportunity to knee him in the face. The few people around, who happened to all be Eren's friends, joined Connie's fit of laughter as well.

"Damn Eren, how long have you two been sneaking around?" Reiner wheezed between laughs. Eren mumbled something under his breath and avoided their gazes.

"Come on, tell us Jaeger!" Jean laughed, clearly amused by his reluctance.

"Few months." Eren said through gritted teeth, killing all three of them mentally.

"Wow, I never knew you could be sneaky!" Connie gasped, still laughing even though he was nursing a bloody nose and slouched against the wall.

"Fuck you guys!" Eren snapped before stomping away to Levi's office. He knew he wasn't going to get yelled at. There would probably not even be any talking. They were going to make out again.

* * *

><p>Hanji hummed merrily as she scrubbed mushy food off the dishes. A fierce aroma of dish soap filled the kitchen as she, Bertold and Christa washed dishes. Technically, Hanji didn't have to help; she was only there to supervise, but she liked helping her subordinates. She took up any opportunity to be near her prey, this time being the tall boy cleaning next to her.<p>

She had noticed Bertold was very jumpy. And very very sweaty. Besides that, he always seemed nervous, especially around Eren. She had also noticed that whenever he handled knives,he would be extremely careful, which was strange since he flew through the air with razor sharp swords mostly every day. Hanji filed that away in her vast library called her mind (organized chaos) and continued to observe him.

"Bertold?" Christa asked sweetly. Berthold flinched and whipped his head to look at her.

"Oh. Y-Yes, Christa?" He asked quietly, almost inaudible. Christa smiled, happy she got a response from the shy teenager.

"Are you feeling okay? You look awfully pale." Christa questioned, tilting her head slightly as her blue orbs gleamed with concern. Bertold glanced quickly at the knife that he was washing and adjusted it so it was farther from his hand before answering.

"I'm fine." He responded simply. Christa frowned, clearly not accepting the poor answer she received.

"Well… okay," she said suspiciously. "But you tell me if you feel sick!"

"Okay." Bertold nodded, continuing his work. Hanji sighed from across the room. Nothing good yet. _I was really hoping I could experience the discovery of a fear again. Eren was so much fun._

There was a tiny squeak coming from near Christa. The two others in the room turned to look at her questioningly only to find her cooing over something they couldn't see.

"Aw it's so cute~!" She whispered, crouching down to counter level. Hanji peered around her and saw a furry little mouse nibbling on a piece of old bread. "I'm sorry buddy, but you've gotta go! We don't have enough food for you!"

"What is tha-" Bertold started to say as he shuffled closer. When he caught sight of the mouse, he stopped mid breath and stared wide eyed at the mouse. _I know it's cute, but I don't know if it's _that _cu-_

"Kill it!" He barked, scurrying over to a chair and cowering behind it. "Kill it, kill it, KILL IT!"

"Why?! He didn't do anything wrong!" Christa exclaimed, standing in front of the furry rodent as if to shield it from harm.

"No, no, no! You have to kill it! It's evil!" Bertold cried, squeezing the chair so hard his knuckles turned white. Hanji smirked evilly and snatched the rodent up by it's tail.

"Hanji,don't ki-" Christa pleaded, starting to follow Hanji.

"Don't worry,I won't kill it." She growled, grinning maniacally as she went closer and closer to the sweaty tall boy, mouse in hand. He threw himself backwards and collapsed against wall. Unsure of where to go or paralyzed with fear, he didn't attempt to escape, but rather fell to the floor and curled into a defensive ball, keeping himself as close to the fall as possible.

Hanji's footsteps simply walked past him. He cautiously looked up to see only Christa staring at him with confusion in her eyes. He sighed in relief. Then Hanji dropped the mouse on his head.

The screams could be heard throughout the castle.

* * *

><p>"Armin! Armin!" Hanji beamed, skidding to a stop in front of said blond. He blinked in surprise but didn't question it more. "I found it!"<p>

"You found… what?" Armin asked, scratching his head.

"The fear, silly!" Hanji giggled. Armin's eyebrows raised as if saying '_Well what is it?'_ "It's mice! Ha, imagine that!? A six foot three guy is scared of mice!"

"Hanji did you mentally scar him?" Armin sighed, already knowing the answer.

"Hm?" Hanji cut off her laughing. "Oh~! No,I just dropped a mouse on his head is all!"

"Hanji!"

"Reiner's next!" She giggled, ignoring Armin's protests.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Silver-09; look who's predicting the future over here.**


	8. Reiner

**I'M SO SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I had insane writer's block and my friend's were being dicks and school and ugh. Nowadays, I'm sleeping the second I get home until like six o'clock just for some dinner and homework. My life is just a spiral of stupid. But, I DID NOT forget about this story! I am posting this at 1:14 AM because I am a horrible person and procrastinate far too much. I apologize deeply and I hope you still read this story!**

**Responses:**

**MemoryRise: Manlymanlymanly. *Manly Huff*. Manly. Yes. Reiner's fear is the most manly of them all. Thank you for praising me! Dude. You're like my buddy now. I don't know you, but you're my buddy. I like you.**

**Bittersweet Alchemist: The Understanding of Hanji By whats-wrong-eren- You can't understand her. Don't try.**

**Silver-09: After that traumatic event, Bertolt (I forget how I even spelled that name before.) sat in his room rocking back and forth until Reiner found him and gave him a big manly hug.**

**notonecare: I cannot please everyone. I am sorry you feel this way, but I think the majority of people who read fanfiction are used to yaoi ****and/or enjoy it as much as I do so I put it in my story.**

**brutalromantic: Same response as notonecare**

**Lithium-ShapedBox: I finally did it! :D**

**DOACookiMonstr: Nice guess! I used to be like that with needles but then my dad laughed at me for a few hours after I flipped shit at the doctor's office so I set out to prove that I was totally not scared of needles even though I obviously was and it just kind of got better. Dunno how, but it did.**

* * *

><p>"Ymir! Ymir!" Christa called as she hurried over to her taller friend. Ymir looked over to the short blonde with a raised eyebrow. Christa threw her hands up to Ymir's face with a doll clutched in them. "Look at my doll!"<p>

The doll had two button eyes. One of the button's was already falling off of the dirty fabric of the face. The nose was nonexistent while the mouth was a thin curved line of thread that was barely clinging on. It had an long dress made of patches and badly stitched. 'Her' hair was made of uneven dark strands of yarn that was probably found in a garbage can. The limbs and neck had many small holes from where the stitching went wrong.

"Where the hell did you get that thing?" Ymir questioned, poking one of its arms as if it was going to do something. Christa pouted and lowered the doll.

"I made it." Christa muttered, her bottom lip sticking out. Ymir raised an eyebrow. "I thought she was really cute."

"Oh!" Ymir exclaimed, startled at the notion of Christa actually _making _the little monstrosity. She couldn't upset her little goddess! "I-I was just kidding! I think it's really cute! Y-Yeah, real cute, Christa."

Christa's eyes lit up at that statement. "Really?! You think so!?"

"Ha ha, yeah!" Ymir replied, rubbing the back of her head with a forced smile on her face (it really looked like more of a grimace but Christa didn't seem to notice).

"I'm gonna go show everyone!" Christa giggled as she skipped down the hallway. Ymir hunched over with a sigh of relief.

* * *

><p>Armin flopped onto a couch in one of the common rooms face first with a huff. Hanji was driving him crazy with her fears experiment. The hour before she was practically begging to let hundreds of spiders, snakes, bees and mice into the headquarters just to see the reactions of the four test subjects. The only thing that convinced her it was a bad idea was that Levi would kill her for the mess; and even that took a lot of negotiating. Armin groaned loudly and rolled over causing him to fall off the couch with a thud. Instead of getting up, he simply put an arm over his eyes and continued to groan.<p>

"Armin! Armi- What are you doing?" Armin heard a high voice ask worriedly. He slid his arm off his face and glanced at the source. It was Christa. She had some weird looking doll thing in her hand.

"I'm wallowing in misery." Armin replied with a grunt as he sat up. Christa cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brows cutely.

"How come?" She asked, hugging the doll thing to her chest.

"Eh, no reason really. Just the work with Hanji." Armin sighed, rubbing his eyes in irritation. He reopened his eyes and gave a pointed stare at the doll. "What's that?"

"Oh!" Christa said excitedly while holding the doll out to Armin happily. "That's why I'm here in the first place! I wanted to show you my doll that I made! Isn't it adorable!?"

"Eheh, yeah. Really cute Christa." Armin grinned, a bit confused and slightly repulsed by the doll. The blond boy hauled himself to his feet with a groan and stretched. He gave yet another sigh and looked towards the door. "I should probably go make sure Hanji isn't mentally scarring anybody."

"That's probably a good idea." Christa smiled bringing the doll back to her chest. She turned to leave but looked back over her shoulder to Armin. "See you later Armin!"

"Yup." Armin nodded. As soon as she left Armin groaned and turned to track down Reiner.

* * *

><p>"HEY~ Armin!" Hanji exclaimed delightedly as Armin stepped through the threshold into one of the many living rooms where a group of 104th cadets and Hanji were mulling around in. Hanji was standing next to Reiner with a huge grin on her face. Reiner looked slightly uncomfortable. "How are you!? Find anything out about the experiment?!"<p>

"No, Hanji, I haven't found anything yet. I'm working on it." Armin muttered as he made his way over to her. She flung an arm around his shoulders as soon as he was close enough. Armin sweatdropped and looked around the room. The only member of the 104th that wasn't present was Christa. As soon as the thought ran through his mind, said girl burst through the door smiling brightly and hiding something behind her back.

"Hi everyone!" Christa beamed. "I have something that I want to show you all!"

"What is it Christa?" Eren asked disinterestedly. Christa's smile widened as she pulled her doll out from behind her back. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could someone let out a bloodcurdling, glass-shattering scream. Everyone in the room leapt three feet in the air and searched for the source, only to see Reiner's foot disappearing around the corner.

Everyone blinked in confusion for at least a minute before everyone burst out laughing.

"He-He's scared of Christa's doll!" Eren choked, rolling on the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter.

"Ar-Armin! Armin! We got it!" Hanji howled, banging her fist on the ground while attempting to breathe normally. Armin was one of the few not rolling on the ground in a fit of laughter, although he was snickering. "WE GOT IT~!"

"Yes Hanji. We got it. Who would've thought Mr. Manly was terrified of dolls." Armin smiled.

Hanji staggered over to him and clamped her hand on his shoulder and leaning towards his ear to whisper, "Y-Ymir is nex-xt." Before collapsing back onto the ground.

* * *

><p><strong>*Manly Huff*<strong>


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